I almost took the leap But instead I flew away It was weird, it felt like when I jumped I'd grown wings When I landed I was crying Not because I'd woken up But because I'd woken up without the wings I grew when I was falling I almost took the leap But I was afraid I would wake up without wings again It's strange, isn't it? How you can miss something that was never there?

Tops of houses are looking quite lonely this time of year No matter how high I climb I know I won't make it To think there's people who make it out alive, it's overwhelming But we're worms meals anyways, I'll see you underground one day I won't fall to my knees I will not accept defeat I won't fall to my knees I will not accept defeat I need a miracle Like forgiveness or faster legs No one knows these voices can outrun me Turns out no one grant forgiveness anyways Tops of building are always a bit crowded this time of year No matter how hard I try I can't stay grounded To think there's people who make it out alive, it's overwhelming But we're worms meals anyways, I'll see you underground one day I won't fall to my knees I will not accept defeat I need a miracle Like forgiveness or faster legs No one knows these voices can outrun me Turns out no one grant forgiveness anyways

Tell me something sweet to get me by until tomorrow I don't think I can make it Tell me something true or lie if you have to I know my heart can take it If there's a chance that I can make it out alive you know I'd really like to know For way to long I've been trying to get along With nowhere really to go But skies, they'll fall On us all Take cover You could be next, you could get broken Oh brother Here we go again, we're going under Look at us now, we're flying higher than we ever have And maybe that means that we'll fall twice as hard hurt half at bad We all fall down and we stay down and play it down And then we learn to take cover

Summer came, I felt my fever reaching past my head through me Then everything went black along this highway Itching, scratching, falling over, begging you to pull it over Grab the steering wheel, we're going my way Whoa, I know Let's turn this car around Really numb but feeling alright, hopping towns as passerby's As vagabonds in train stations on highways Floating through like ghosts inside of hallow bodies Riding highs of remembering what being alive was Whoa, I know now We can't turn this car around Summer came, I felt my fever reaching past my head through me Then everything went black along this highway Itching, scratching, falling over, begging you to pull it over Grab the steering wheel, we're going my way Whoa, I know Let's turn this car around Whoa, I know now We can't turn this car around We take nothing then they take all of us We take nothing at all Maybe one day they'll come back to us Maybe they won't

Dear mom and dad It's not your fault I'm sorry I'm not the kid you thought you'd get But my story's not over yet so don't give up on me It must be hard for you to see the bags under your little girl's eyes And the bruises in beneath her feet from outrunning the night to get to morning beams And only seeing her a few times a week Dear mom and dad I know it's not at all what you planned and I can't say sorry enough But can you forgive me? This life may not be for me but it's the greatest gift you've ever given me And I'll never try to give it back again I'll try Dear mom and dad I'm still that little girl that you read to at night And whose feet I remember you holding so tight Who'd sing in grocery stores and hug you after fights You know I'd take it all back The yelling and the throwing and the bags would be unpacked Mom and dad I never would've done those things if I'd known in the slightest what it meant to almost lose a kid I'd never try to leave again, oh the things I'd give All you've ever done Was given the world to someone who spat it back for fun Who only gave you one good day for a hundred bad ones Because for me it was just a day not as bad as the other ones Dear mom and dad I understand now what it means to grow up And I hate it but I love you so I'll give it all I've got Because you gave it all to me and that means so much Dear mom and dad I'm sorry that I ever got sick And I'm sorry over and over again for what it did Believe me, I wish you could've gotten something better Than the long nights, the long fights and the guilt trips spent together Mom and dad The promises I made didn't last but instead broke before our eyes like glass The things I hid under my bed weren't love letters or toys But punching bags and headphones used to drown out your voice And I'm sorry I never loved myself half as much as you loved me Mom and dad I'm sorry this took so long to say But believe me, I've had this stuff written down since the day We had that fight where I threatened to leave I walked out and I wrote it down I said that one you'd be proud of me One day I'd make this up to you Because you got a rotten child for a price much higher than a decent one The world played a sick joke on us and you were the punchline And I'm sorry I did all the punching all the time Mom you're not the only one who sees the good on this earth But I'm too tired to bet on it And Dad, I know the world weighs you down but you built this ground beneath my feet And even though there's always rugs being pulled from under me Thanks for catching me and picking me up off the floor I'm sorry for that one time I almost broke my bedroom door Because if one more word was said I would've exploded The world's a lot But you say 'sweet pea I love you' and I set that love of fire

Sleeping pills don't do it like they used to It's another one of those nights There's voices talking at me trying to get me into trouble And I may as well go down with the fight And I may have been drowning in the belly of the sea But no force of nature could hold me down, you set me free And hopelessness is pouring out of these piano keys I guess I'll keep on playing until my mind's at peace The Devil can collect me, either that or sleep When I'm in bed and the darkness seems to take me Would you pray with me, pray for me? Would you lay with me, lay with me?

Wishing I could disappear can you hear the words above my head? They float and fly and fall, I swear they wish me dead Yeah I'm drowning in the sea but hey the grass is looking greener Can you see that greenery? Eden's waiting in the distance And I'm itching just thinking about the living Wishing I could forgive them Oh, but I promise you Oh, I won't promise you anything I won't promise you anything, not anymore Star-gazing up on top of planet Mars I see the earth, the atmosphere It's feeling kind of heavy I might like it here I'm never coming back oh, you should see it here How do I get back? Yeah I promised you I'd try my best, let's take a guess I'll break the next one too I'm a fraud and I'm a fool and you're so gullible and I'm so cruel But you're used to me by now Wish I could say I'm sorry but how you forgive me I can't forgive me And oh, if I wanted to you know I'd be haunting you right now I'd pull you under with me but my beliefs disagree and honestly The world's much better with you in it I can't say the same about me Oh, but I promise you Oh, I won't promise you anything I won't promise you anything, not anymore Wishing I could disappear can you hear the words above my head? They float and fly and fall, I swear they wish me dead Yeah I'm drowning in the sea but hey the grass is looking greener

Mia don't look down, I think we're falling Tell me what you told the others Chew on words you cannot say and swallow all their dying prosper Mia you're a brilliant June and I am just a cold December And these hands were made for so much more than shaking in the dead of winter Mia you're a sight for sore eyes You look tired and I look older But these bones, these bones will make us well Mia, I am sorry but I must save myself No one knows the hills that we have climbed Our tired feet will heal but Mia that takes time After all, this flesh was never who we were We belong inside this earth Mia, you and me, we're bound to earth

There's chronic pain inside me They say it's not important but I'd say it's paramount There's wickedness within me I've killed myself a hundred times, I've lost the body count I've brought it down to just three reasons Three effects on how my sickness has sickened me to death I wrote them on my bedside table No paper, no pens, no regrets I wrote them on my bedside table In lines, I lied more honest than I've been All my life I felt things grabbing at my t-shirt Wondering what they needed and pondering if I should feed them If this loneliness doesn't destroy me first I'll give myself to these things, I'll trade them in for this curse This life, it isn't some game that could be settled on some ball court Thinking I should fall first, wondering who I should call first No time left so I think that I should stall first No calls left so I'm hitting the wall head first And when I said I didn't need anyones help I didn't know I would be lying on the floor, calling and balling And I wish I could've told my younger self that she'd be okay But when I look back I wish I could go back to those days Maybe in a couple of days I'll remember what it's like to live a life with no pain In a couple days, a life with no rain But I won't wake up one more day knowing that tomorrow things will still be the same Yeah I'm a little lonely, so what Show me how it feels to live a life that won't own me or control me Show me some God that won't disown me Because from where I'm standing I just see a big empty sky And I'm asking, why can't I see a single star shooting by? Give me one more chance, I scream to mirrors in my bathroom, feed them Pretend the things pulling out my insides aren't all these demons But tomorrow I'll wake up hating all the space I take up No one told me growing up would take the parts I thought I needed I told myself that living wasn't that important but now I'd say it's Paramount It's in living I found a good reason to believe that maybe I could make it out

I always hear about these bright lights that exist up in the sky However they only seem to shine for those who don't have open eyes And yeah, I'm far but from this distance I can squint hard And maybe make out something that resembles a star Now I'm down in the dumps or at the bottom of the sea And I can feel the heavy pulse of water all around me Gets harder to breathe, that happens lately as me what else is new Clear I hear the darkness like I'm calling to you And I'm alone for the first time in a while Those three words have made a home inside my mind's bloody aisles shining style Ask me why I'll ask again with no reply And I'll repent without a cent left to my name, kiss that goodbye And I remember as a kid I always tried to be tall, feared nothing at all Not even the heights of my backyard tree, I couldn't fall And now I walk around on tiptoes but I'm always falling short I can't remember a time I wasn't falling for sport As you can see I've got some problems and I don't get much help I tried to play forgiveness but the problem was myself And now this fist full of fingernails is all I can fell I swear I'd give my lucky penny just to take the Devil's Deal I tried to talk myself down but I couldn't get through So now I'm asking for the backyard trees, some leaves and my shoes The Velcro laces put me at ease as I climb high into the sky I'll see the stars I say today but in the morning I'll deny it Breathe I can't breathe Or feel the ground Beneath my feet To winds I plead A fearless breeze A gracious fall Courageous leap There are tolls those dimming lights took on me Maybe I'm not meant for saving There are holes inside my heart I dug myself Pieces I'll never see again Heaven knows the Hell that's made itself a home Inside those concaves of my chest And I'll the Velcro laces on this planet could never really help me In the end Breathe I can't breathe Or feel the ground Beneath my feet To winds I plead A fearless breeze A gracious fall Courageous leap

I feel free because I've never felt more alone And in this place from here to there, I've never felt more at home If I had teeth I could feel what it felt like to feel at peace I could chew and swallow and see how it'd feel not to feel empty In the moments just before I fall asleep I feel the feeling come and creep up from my feet, I think about it all the time Nighttime notions in our brains a sickness catching us aflame The fires in our hearts are burning out Hallow faces all around us, scared to walk the road amongst us Telling us the things we ought to know Teeth and bones we carry only seem to make us weary Of the things we left behind us, we are gone Kitchen cabinets full of dishes, empty never to be filled It's lonely feeling all of it at once Perfect dark white dinner plates and melting pots we fill with hate We tell ourselves we're better off this way The only things inside us are the things we let divide The good the bad beneath our skin and in our veins Broken glass we walk on tiptoes Don't make too much noise or else the world will hear and take away your name In bedrooms we break window panes and lock ourselves up far away We let go of the noise inside our brain But I feel free because I've more at home inside these pockets full of Fingernails I keep, keep me insane Little things like memories in parts of me I can't quite reach Help me fall asleep, put me at ease We lose ourselves sometimes and we grow tired of these callused minds We'll find someone to blame and start again

Flowers in her hair Oh she wore flowers in her hair the day you took that girl away Flowers in her hair She wore flowers flowers in her hair the day you took our girl away Flowers in her hair She wore flowers in her hair and then she went away And we knew where she was going And we knew what she would say Instead she wore flowers in her hair Then she went away

When you came to me you said I'd never fly But yesterday I died and now I'm flying high After you told me that I went to bed, in fact I slept better than I think I've ever slept Tell me, tell me what went wrong I used to, used to play along But now I'm wondering where I've gone I've lost myself again, I'll find her when I'm dead When you came to me I thought I'd never try To live a single day outside this violent mind But then the angels flew, I swear I never knew How quick they disappeared and now, well now there here Softer underground Softer underground Softer underground Softer underground

If I cleaned my whole room Would you lay dirt on the floor for things to bloom? When I'm queen of this town I'm taking you down with me to the ground We need the noise but you love the silence, don't you Don't you? Kill the voices, just live in silence won't you Won't you? Just the other day I had a dream I flew away I woke up on the moon in my room Flowers blooming from my floor Closed my door

I almost took the leap But instead I flew away It was weird, it felt like when I jumped I'd grown wings When I landed I was crying Not because I'd woken up But because I'd woken up without the wings I grew when I was falling I almost took the leap But I was afraid I would wake up without wings again It's strange, isn't it? How you can miss something that was never there? // Hold my hand this time I think it'll be alright Tell me some things to remember on my darkest days Hold my hand this time It'll be a bit longer than last time When too soon I thought I was ready Oh hold me steady And our shoulders will shake And our hearts, they will break And my mind will go off to darker places And I will be gone a while As my mind will be put on trial For my health you'll trade in a smile But I need you to Hold my hand (It's scary I know, for you and me both) Hold my hand this time (I think it'll be just fine) Tell me some things to remember on my darkest days (Touch my fingertips and hold my face as I cry) And I promise you, I'll be back someday