par • a • mount (adj.) more important than anything else; supreme.
lyrics
There's chronic pain inside me
They say it's not important but I'd say it's paramount
There's wickedness within me
I've killed myself a hundred times, I've lost the body count
I've brought it down to just three reasons
Three effects on how my sickness has sickened me to death
I wrote them on my bedside table
No paper, no pens, no regrets
I wrote them on my bedside table
In lines, I lied more honest than I've been
All my life I felt things grabbing at my t-shirt
Wondering what they needed and pondering if I should feed them
If this loneliness doesn't destroy me first
I'll give myself to these things, I'll trade them in for this curse
This life, it isn't some game that could be settled on some ball court
Thinking I should fall first, wondering who I should call first
No time left so I think that I should stall first
No calls left so I'm hitting the wall head first
And when I said I didn't need anyones help
I didn't know I would be lying on the floor, calling and balling
And I wish I could've told my younger self that she'd be okay
But when I look back I wish I could go back to those days
Maybe in a couple of days
I'll remember what it's like to live a life with no pain
In a couple days, a life with no rain
But I won't wake up one more day knowing that tomorrow things will still be the same
Yeah I'm a little lonely, so what
Show me how it feels to live a life that won't own me or control me
Show me some God that won't disown me
Because from where I'm standing I just see a big empty sky
And I'm asking, why can't I see a single star shooting by?
Give me one more chance, I scream to mirrors in my bathroom, feed them
Pretend the things pulling out my insides aren't all these demons
But tomorrow I'll wake up hating all the space I take up
No one told me growing up would take the parts I thought I needed
I told myself that living wasn't that important but now I'd say it's Paramount
It's in living I found a good reason to believe that maybe I could make it out
The enigmatic Frank Ene's solo record lives in a magical world where Serge Gainsbourg fronts Yellow Magic Orchestra. Bandcamp New & Notable Nov 17, 2022